Wasting Away
Currently reading:
American Scary by Jeremy Dauber
Animal Wife by Lara Ehrlich
The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas
Books finished this week: 2
★★☆☆☆
Where this book came from: I’m 99 percent sure this came from McNally Jackson——potentially the Seaport location?——because I remember seeing it on their mystery shelf and also because I found a bookmark from there in the book. I’ll update if I find information that says otherwise!
Why this book: New Orleans and noir, hello.
Thoughts: Man, this was a tough one. I enjoyed the variety of stories, in terms of time periods, and my favorite story of the collection was probably actually the Kate Chopin entry (where my Awakening girlies at?). But I had three main issues with this collection: first, I wouldn’t actually classify a lot of the stories as “noir,” personally; second, the majority of the stories were, in my opinion, actually very bad; and third, the authors included leaned heavily toward white men, and I would have loved——and expected——to see more variety in a book about New Orleans. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to put together a collection, especially one like this which aims to give an overview of two-hundred-ish years of literary history. But regarding my last two points, I think more research was needed to incorporate a broader range of voices and experiences, and to ensure more quality works were included.
★★★★☆
Where this book came from: Pre-ordered from Kew & Willow<3
Why this book: S. A. Cosby very quickly became one of those authors whose new books I will pre-order without a second thought. But this one sounded especially good.
Thoughts: Blacktop Wasteland was my favorite of Cosby’s books, but King of Ashes gives it a run for its money. I love how vibrant Cosby’s characters are and the lyricism of his prose. Some of the metaphors did feel a little forced, but overall, reading this book was an excellent experience. I docked one star mostly for the treatment of the two main women in the plot. They were fully realized, absolutely, as all Cosby characters are, and, I mean, I feel like having two main, active female characters here gives us more than we’ve had in his previous novels, but I also felt that they were a bit sidelined from the “important” parts of the plot.
Library updates:
This happens to me every summer. At the beginning of the season, when the weather starts to go from pleasantly spring-warm to just edging toward unbearably hot and humid, I’m full of excitement and lists. I think about all the places I can visit, all the events I can go to, all the time I’ll spend on the beach or in a pool, all the friends I’ll get to see.
And then Independence Day rolls around, and the familiar anxiety starts creeping in, about how I’m “wasting” my summer. Barely anything has been checked off that initial list; it’s too fucking hot to even try. I celebrate when I make one successful plan or when I attend one event I booked for myself, and then spend days, if not weeks, beating myself up for skipping others. I wallow in front of my air conditioner and insist this is fine, that climate change and my inability to regulate my temperature anymore (thanks, Lexapro) are ruining everything. It’s the world! It’s my brain! It isn’t me!!
Just kidding, it’s absolutely me. I know this. Yet I let it happen every year. I let myself be taken in by the highlight reels people post on Instagram——gorgeous vacations, outdoor meals, beach days——and compare my worst days to their best. I make overly ambitious lists and then feel awful about myself when I don’t have the time, money, or inclination to make everything happen. I’ve been trying to do too many things on my own recently, which I realized was part of my problem a long time ago but is still something I’m working to fix. I just plan to do a lot of things alone, and then when the time comes to actually do them, it’s incredibly easy for me to talk myself out of going, because the only person I’m letting down by not going is me. I have some really nice summer days, but I let the bad ones win out.
And then I feel like I’m wasting away. If only it was in Margaritaville.
Anyway! What a downer!! I journaled a ton about this and talked about it in therapy this week, but I guess I wanted to put it out in the world, too, in case anyone else feels the same. My days and nights aren’t jam-packed with exciting outings and dozens of my closest friends. But I’m working on finding the right balance for me.
Closing thoughts:
You’re not wasting anything.
Total books read from the Moratorium Library: 167
(Total books added to the Moratorium Library: 324)
Stopped in at Kew & Willow again to grab an online order (which I placed based on recommendations from Meg——hi, Meg)!
And ordered a couple of books I’ve been eye-balling for a bit from B&N . . .
(Used a bunch of gift cards, so these kind of shouldn’t count, but whatever!!)
And then I almost made it out of PowerHouse on 8th without a purchase. But oh well! At least I finally got to visit a store with a friend again (hi, Britt!).
